Ok here we go on week 2 of this awesome online Bible study and attemp 2 at "blog-hopping". Blog-hopping goal for this week: ACTUALLY FINISH!!!!!!!!
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” ~ Proverbs 19:21 NIV11
There have been several time when my plans have not necessarily been what God's plans were for me. When my daughter was born, I wanted nothing more than to stay home and just be her mommy all day long. But our financial situation required me to maintain my full time position as a nurse. I'm blessed to be able to have an 8 to 4 job and not a 12 hour midnight shift, but even still, my heart
ached every time I had to leave my baby. Eventually,when she was a little older and we we in a better situation financially, my husband and I decided that I could work part time. I went to my bosses and
told them that while I knew it would take some planning, that itching the next few months I wanted to work part time so that I could be home more with my daughter. What was made to look like a hopeful outcome at first turned out not to be. At that time, at a follow up meeting a week later I was advised by my superiors that they were not going to be able to help me at this time. I was crushed. As soon as I got to my car and headed down the road home, I shouted out "ok God! What do you want from me?
I thought this is what you were leading me to do and I just got the door slammed in my face! What do you want me to do? What do you want from me?" At that moment, amongst all my frustration,
"be still" rang in my thoughts. So I thought "ok. I can be still." Now was I completely still? No. The overwhelming guilt of feeling like I was picking my job over my child was consuming
me. So I started to job search...hospitals, rehab centers, nursing
homes, doctors offices. However, every avenue I traveled down I
was literally smacked in the face with deterrents. I knew night shift wasn't an option for our family, yet every place that sang a doctors office was offering only midnight shifts. When I asked a colleague about a particular doctors office in the area, she said " oh my. I interviewed there before I came here, and its horrible! I was told in the interview that nurses leave t lunch and don't come back!" Slammed door!
When I am desperately seeking God to lead me in the direction I am meant to go in my life, I always beg Him to just knock me down with the obvious because the last thing I want to miss is Gods plan for my life. Well He did just that. Any door I attempted to go through was slammed shut, smacking me in the face. It was the greatest feeling. It didn't take long for me to finally say "ok Lord. I hear you. I will be still." About nine months later a part time position opened up and I met my goal to be home more with my daughter than away from her. What an absolute blessing. She and I spend our days playing, cooking, dancing, watching our favorite movies, learning about the life of Jesus and God, taking trips to the library, doing crafts, everything. It is wonderful to be able to spend
time doing things with her, having the energy to play with her, and I also appreciate my job more. Once again, The Lord had His best just waiting right around the corner. He was just waiting for me to be still.
Lord, I am so thankful that you are in charge of my life.
Let Go, Girl!
"When we willingly accept our lot in life, welcoming all that God is trying to teach us through it, we lose the drive to over control, to micromanage in an all-out attempt to appear perfect and ensure everything is 'just so'." LIG p54
God, thank you for being so patient with me and my inability to more times than not give you complete control over my life. My desire to control situations, people, and other aspects of my life is an enormous burden on my heart brought on by fear-fear that if I don't control, everything will go wrong. Please remove this burden from my heart, Lord, and replace it with peace and security of your love and control over my life. Help me to remember that you will never leave nor forsake me, and that you will be with me wherever I go...and at the beginning of the day, you, not I, always make everything the best it can be in my life. Thank you.
Stand By Your Man
The Biblical dance step that is easiest to follow in my marriage is my submitting to my husband, and the love and respect I have for him-that we have for each other. He makes it so easy because of the respect and patience he has for me. I watch other marriages around us and the communication within them. I've seen husbands condescend to their wives, and it's disappointing and disrespectful. My husband doesn't ever act like he is entitled to my submission to him and our marriage. He is grateful, as am I. I've seen many husbands behave the exact opposite both in and out of the presence of their wives, and it's disappointing. My husband and I are best friends, and we share a mutual love and respect for each other. Neither one of us acts superior to the other, but we see each other as equals. Another dance step that is easy for me is the ability to influence, not manipulate. It is one of my pet peeves to see a woman cry in order to get something she wants from her husband, or anyone really. I've never considered that respectful or grown-up behavior. When I would like my husband to do something, I ask him. If he doesn't want to do it, and it isn't that big of a deal to me, that's basically the end of it. If it is a big deal, I express that to him. The simple fact that it matters to me makes it matter to him, and I extend the same courtesy to him.
A dance step I do have trouble with is backing off and giving him control, especially where our child is concerned. He is a fantastic and involved father, and a blessing to parent with. Though I'm a little more laid back now, when our daughter was an infant, in my mind, I was the only one who knew everything she needed and when she needed it. I think that is common with mothers, but unfortunately, I also think it can make our husbands feel as if they don't know what they are doing. My need to control everything about how my child is cared for instead of backing off and letting my husband take the reins and make some decisions of his own can really crush his self-confidence as a father. As his wife, that is wrong for me to make him feel that way in any situation, whether it be child care, house work, cooking, anything. I need to be nothing but supportive and trusting of the decisions he makes in our lives, and especially with our child. My husband is intelligent, loving, and a true blessing to me and our daughter.